Mystery Babylon
by Phuq
Summary: Schala's story. Rated for violence, semi-non-con, cynicism, and a real f-ed up family.
1. When the Heavens Began to Fall

Disclaimer: I own the rights to neither Chrono Trigger or Chrono Cross! So there! :P

Author's Notes: **I make full use of my artistic license privileges here, so there. :P again.**

__

SPOILERS!!!!!! DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'VE BEATEN CHRONO TRIGGER THE LONG WAY AND CHRONO CROSS THE RIGHT WAY!!!!!!!! YOU WILL WANT TO KILL ME IF YOU IGNORE THIS!!!!!!! SO THERE!!!!!!!! TRIPLE :P

Schala is the greatest NPC of all time! So there! Many :Ps to the person who dares argue! So there! :P

Ahem... if you've ever read Revelations, you'll know why this fic has it's name. Yes, I have read (most) of Revelations, so... well, the game has many blatant Biblical references, so this fic will have about as many as most other fics (although most probably weren't intentional). If, for some reason, Christianity offends you, WHY THE HELL DID YOU PLAY THE FISKING GAME? Also, I am serious about reading this if you haven't beaten Chrono Cross, because it will (re: WILL. It doesn't have any yet) contain major spoilers for that game. Also, flame all you want. It's beginning to get a bit chilly and my feet get cold easily.

"I don't think you 

Trust

In my

Self-righteous suicide.

I cry

When angels deserve to 

****

DIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

-System of a Down, "Chop Suey"

~*~*~*~

"Janus! Come along!" I shout to be heard over the wind. My cloak billows and twists itself around my legs, making my already impeded walking even more difficult. "It's not far! We'll be warm there!" I look back. I make him wear black, so I can see him against the snow. How could I let myself lose him?

"Janus!"

_Calm down, calm down, be warm and let me see. _I stall the unceasing snowstorm long enough to catch a glimpse of my brother. _Be warm, be still, let me fly. _I run, glad that I wear pants on these outings.

"Janus!" I give him a hug.

"Alfador won't move." He holds out a lump of fur. _Be warm, beat heart, send life to paws and nose, tail and ears. _The cat meows, weakly. I'm tired. I can't do any more. Mother had me work on the Mammon machine today.

**Lavos.** **_That evil, vile creature. _**Its hatred burns my mind and freezes my soul. Every time I touch it I lose more of myself.

"Schala, you sick?" I stand up. I can't let him see me like this. He's only three. He's not ready, not yet. "Let me make it better." He touches my face. I feel clarity, a surge of power as my manna returns. _I'm scared for you._

"Don't do that so close to Mother." I pull his hand away. "Now, stay close."

When he was born, I wasn't allowed to see him for a whole week. When I held him, the force of unformed mind almost killed me, though I was thirteen and the most powerful student in my class. I was in a coma for weeks. In that time Melchior, Belthasar, and Gaspar visited him. They felt his power as well. I made them promise to keep it a secret because I don't want my baby brother to become Mother's slave like me. I cannot hide him forever, though. That is why I teach him. When he can no longer hide, he will fight. And we **will be free.**

~*~*~*~

"Sis? You okay?" I can smell my charred flesh from Janus's fire spell. I focus my energies on healing the worst of it. I run a light mental hand over my skin covering any evidence of injury. I open my eyes and look up at the five-year-old giving me an impish grin. "I beat you."

"Yes, you did." He terrifies me. His powers grow more immense with each passing day. Mother is growing suspicious. "Let me heal you." My brother cannot heal. He can only hurt. If Mother ever finds him, the pain he will bring all of us, the pain he will bring himself will be unimaginable.

He stands in the middle of the cave. "I can feel the winds of time blowing here." _Yes. I feel it. _A whiff of something in the air. A sense of moving backwards and forwards at the same time.

"I feel it too. We must leave. The winds of time are dangerous and unpredictable." I echo the wisdom of Gaspar, Guru of Time. My brother nods. He understands the dangers of magic. I have taught him well. I have a feeling, if he fought today, he would win. But I am afraid. I don't want to lose him. I don't care about myself anymore.

~*~*~*~

A wave of hatred churns within the Mammon Machine. I send my mind in. It brings me down and I feel my will cracking, but I hold firm. I gain control and force myself to ignore the hateful, tempting whisperings of Lavos. I up the power and direct the energy to the necessary areas. I must do this every day or Lavos shall overwhelm us. And if I let anyone else do it, they might lose to Lavos. So I suffer, so no one else has to. _Don't worry about me. I'll be dead soon._

~*~*~*~

"Tell me what disturbs you, child." I lay my head on Gaspar's lap. He's my only friend. Him and Janus are all I have. I should count the other two, but Melchior's a bit too obsessed with his new sword, and Belthasar is just... **weird. **I know one should not think such disrespectful thoughts about such wise and powerful people, but it's _true._

"Dalton, he wants to... marry me," I sob. I hate that man. He is power-mad, like Mother, like Lavos. If I marry him, then I will be even more a slave.

"I know. The entire court is rejoicing for you." Gaspar strokes my hair.

"I'm not." I'm only nineteen. I'm not ready to get married yet. And who will care for Janus? Who will love him and teach him and show him right from wrong? Who will wake up in the middle of the night and comfort him if he has a nightmare? No one cares about my brother except for me.

"If you resist, they will become suspicious. Remember that your brother's safety depends upon secrecy." I know. I have to marry Dalton. I cry. **Why Why Why Why Why? **Must I suffer for my power? Must I suffer because I am gentle and kind and wish to be a good daughter and sister? _Shall I **never** be free?_

I don't matter. Janus does. I must do whatever it takes to protect him.

"Will I still live in the palace?" If I can just stay near Janus...

"Yes, my dear. You stay in the heir's quarters, Dalton will stay in the Prince's Quarters."

"So I shall stay near Janus?"

"Yes." I'll do it. If it helps Janus, I'll do anything. Nothing else matters to me. Nothing. Not even my own life.

~*~*~*~

We still train every day. Janus wins every time. He doesn't need the practice. We both know it, but we continue to delay the inevitable**. We must fight Mother. We must defeat Mother. **_Just us one more day, I beg of you. _One more day for us to be together, for I fear Janus will be alone once this is over.

~*~*~*~

"You're not really marrying Dalton, are you?" Janus sits at the edge of my bed.

"Don't worry, I'll still live right here." If I could wipe out the way Dalton leered at me when I said yes. I fear our wedding night. He may hurt me.

If I could wash my mouth of his kiss, if I could cleanse my shoulders of his bloody hands.

"Janus, please, leave me be." If I could kill Mother... we could be _free. _I try to imagine it, but I fail. I don't know what free is, but it has to be infinitely valuable, because so many good men have fought so hard and so long for it, without knowing whether they would win or not.

~*~*~*~

My hands hold the dagger shakily. I wish myself unseen and silent and creep into her room. My hands raise the knife. I will. I **must.**

My hands sink the knife into her and my feet flee the room as the guards come.

I run to my room and strip off my clothes. I hide them under the bed. I pull on my nightdress and crawl under the sheets and force myself to breathe softly and slowly.

I am suffocating.

"The Queen has been attacked. The Kingdom of Zeal is in danger. Awake, arise, this is a call to arms of all citizens of Zeal." I sit up in my bed and throw on my clothes. _The alarm! I forgot about the alarm!_

Knock knock, knock. "Princess Schala! The Queen requires your assistance."

~*~*~*~

They made me heal Mother. I wish I could fight. I wish I had wings and could fly Janus somewhere safe. But I don't have wings and I can't fight, so I must do what they say.

There is search among the court for the attempted murderer. It is apparent that the killer had potent magic powers to be able to sneak past the guards. So far, suspicion had steered clear of me. The wedding will take place as scheduled. I'm scared, but I am brave. I will not pity myself. This is as it must be. Nothing can change that. I must learn acceptance. I must learn that I can do nothing.

~*~*~*~

"The winds of time blow strong today, Schala. Don't you feel like the clock is moving backwards?" Yes. Janus is right. The fabric of reality bends. Lavos stirs. I can feel it. The time-wind awakens it and it lets out a low roar.

I focus. I direct the energy surge, absorbing much of it into my body. I fall to my knees. I am strong. _I can do this. _I clutch my pedant and it draws the excess energies from my frail human body.

I stand up. The wind of time screams in my ears. I stumble out of the Mammon Room and into the halls. People cover their ears to protect themselves from the time-wind's roar. Some cannot hear it. The fabric of reality rips apart and there is silence as it repairs itself.

I release Janus from my grasp and run to Mother.


	2. Liars, All of Them

Author's notes: So... this is the second chapter. I originally wanted to make this one chapter, just to keep with the tradition of Chrono Trigger fic-chapters that never seem to end. But, the computer crashed, and I almost lost the whole thing, so I decided that I would rather lose three or four pages of typing, rather that the original thirteen. Oh, and a few interesting theological tidbits. Janus happens to be the Roman god of doors. He has two faces, on looking forward, the other looking back. (hmmm....) And Mammon is the personfication of riches as an evuil spirit or demon (depending on your source.)

"I don't think you 

Trust

In my

Self-righteous suicide.

I cry

When angels deserve to 

****

DIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

-System of a Down, "Chop Suey"

~*~*~*~

"So, this is the time-wind. Gaspar, what does it mean?" Mother sits upon her throne, the gurus form a triangle around her and Dalton and I kneel before them.

Gaspar speaks; "there has been a disturbance in the fabric of reality. Simply stated, something from another time is now in our time."

"Perhaps it is myself, coming to congratulate myself on having invented time travel." Belthasar says. It's scary, but he is serious.

"No, see if you did that then there would be two of you, creating a temporal paradox, which is a very destructive force, which you would not do." Gaspar's right. Whatever it is cannot exist now, or the results would be disastrous.

"It may try to attack. We must be ready." Melchior says.

"What of my wedding?" Dalton, selfish as usual. The entire kingdom is in danger and all he cares about is the stupid wedding he's only having so he can get more power.

"Wedding? My kingdom could be invaded by who-knows-what and you're worried about the wedding?" Dalton bows his head.

"Lavos. The time-wind woke up Lavos." I say softly.

"Lavos is awake?" The gurus' eyes all open in horror.

"No time for that now! Shut down all the Earthbound Skyways! Post guards at every one! **_Now_**!"

"Yes, your highness." Dalton bows and leaves.

"Lavos is awake?" Mother directs her inquiry at me.

"Yes, Mother. I was at the Mammon Machine when the wind started to blow. I felt it stir." I speak softly to the floor.

"This is perfect! Now, can I count on your help?"

"I am your eternally loyal daughter. You can always trust in me." My heart sinks. **_I want to be free. I want to be free. I want to be free. I want to be free._**

~*~*~*~

A strange man came to court today. Janus does not trust him, but I am uncertain. He is so familiar. I know this man. I haven't felt such power since... _Impossible. _

~*~*~*~

"You have asked for an audience with us. You say you have news of the utmost importance." Mother speaks coldly, proudly.

He answers in equally proud and cold voice, as if he has had training. "Queen Zeal, great ruler of this realm. Princess Schala, whose beauty and power surpasses all others. Melchior, Guru of Life, creator of the Masamune." Melchior gasps. No one knows about the sword except for the others of the court. "Belthasar, guru of wisdom, how goes your "wings of time" I believe you called it?" Belthasar gasped. What are the wings of time? "Gaspar, Guru of Time, I believe you should want to check your study now." **What?**

"What do you mean by that, stranger?"

"Well, if you don't want a certain prince knocking your notes on the theory of temporal distortions out the window..."

Gaspar runs out of the throne room **_"MY NOTES!" _**Gaspar shrieks, from his study. "You little..."

There is stream of words describing Janus I didn't even know a guru knew. I blush, hiding a smile. This is too funny.

I hear Janus's apology. "Sorry, Alfador did it. Honest." I don't have to worry. Gaspar won't do anything to him.

The prophet, for it is obvious what he is, says, "Too late."

That does it. I giggle, holding my hand over my mouth but then I can't hold it in anymore and I let out a whoop of laughter. There are so few chances for me to laugh. I take every opportunity I can get. Tears stream out my eyes and my tiara slips off.

"Schala, you are acting very undignified," Mother hisses in my ear. I laugh even louder at that. _Undignified? Laughter in the face of pain? That I can suffer so and still laugh? Does that say **nothing **of my dignity?_

My laughter infects Melchior and Belthasar. "Hahaha, can you see the look on his face?" "Hoohooho, do you thing he's having a rough _TIME_?" "Not exactly the _TIME_ for mistakes, eh, Belthasar?" "No, no _TIME _at all. Hoohooho!" I laugh harder at each bad pun. I fall of the my throne and lay convulsing in laughter.

Gaspar walks in. "Now is not the time to be laughing." Everyone except Gasper and the prophet laugh at that. Even Mother lets a chuckle slip. "Do you find my misfortune amusing?"

"YES! HEEHEE!" I squeak. My stomach hurts from laughing so much. **"NO _TIME_ LIKE THE PRESENT!" **I hear a strangely deep, and oddly familiar, chuckle.

"It appears my warning did not arrive in _TIME_." The prophet states solemnly. Gaspar joins us. We're a pack of laughing fools. If anyone sees us, they'll think we're insane.

"Order in the court! SILENCE!" My mother shouts, ripping our laughter in half. I stand up, half-giggling. I pick up my tiara and place it back on my head. I sit down, dignified and miserable once more.

"What do you seek?" Mother gets down to business.

"I seek to assist you." His voice is deep and unfamiliar, but the inflections are unmistakably familiar.

"We need no assistance." Mother says coldly.

"Once, there was a Queen who sought to build a palace under the sea to be closer to the source of her powers. Alas, it overpowered her and her kingdom fell. I know Lavos. I am powerful, and can control him so you can build your palace, your highness." He bows.

"How do you know these things?" Mother asked, shocked that someone knew of the Ocean Palace. I can hear the thoughts running through her head, hear her wondering who leaked and how to punish them, wondering if she should kill this "prophet" or bring him closer.

"I have seen them. I can change them." He bows, ignoring or immune to the hostility around him.

"What do want in return for helping us?"

"Why must I ask anything?"

"There is no such thing as something for nothing."

The prophet stands silent. He looks at me and I am afraid of what is to come. "There is nothing."

"I will not trust a man who will not accept reward."

"I was hurt by Lavos. I wish to end my pain. That is reason enough. Those are the terms. Accept them or not. Live or die. I force you to do nothing." He lifts up his head and I look into his ruby eyes. I see such pain as even I could only imagine.

"He speaks truth, Mother. Trust him." Mother nods. She accepts my judgment, because I am more powerful than she is. The gurus nod. He was brought by the time-wind.

"Tell me, prophet, what is your name?"

"I have such human trappings far behind."

"Surely you must have one?"

"Once, they call me Magus." The Latin word for magic. Clever. Mother does not actually know Latin; she just fakes it. This prophet seems to know everything, even the tiny details, like a children, my baby brother especially, have a knack for doing.

"Magus, you welcomed into the service of the Kingdom of Zeal." Magus bows, once more, and leaves the room. I want to cry. More work means less time with Janus. And what if it doesn't work? I will save Janus. Let them all rot and die, I don't care. But my brother shall not die. **_Not at any cost. If the whole world must fall; if I must cast down the heavens and bring eternal damnation on all that is, then so be it._**

~*~*~*~

Today is the day before the wedding. Dalton shall wed me before we start on the Ocean Palace. Everyone is in high excitement, except for Janus, Magus, and myself.

Magus seems beyond feelings, beyond emotions. He terrifies me, but at the same time I am comforted by the strength and familiarity of him. I know him from somewhere. _But where?_

I curl up on my bed and cry. I wish I could freeze time so the wedding will never happen. I feel the dagger under my dress. I can stop it. I can make it...

_But Janus. _I cry, once more. I can never be free. I care about my brother too much to escape. My hands make a few quick slashes on my arms to put myself at ease. I hide the dagger under my dress. If Dalton... touches me... my hand will... stab him... and... kill him. But if I do that they'll hurt Janus. I go to my big French window and prepare my hands to throw the dagger out. It is too tempting to be selfish. I must rid myself.

I stand at the window, transfixed by the desire within me. My feet climb up on the windowsill and my hands grip the edges of the window. My whole body leans forward. _All I have to do is let go..._

A knock at the door pulls me from my reverie. "The prophet wishes an audience with the Princess Schala. Is it granted?" I sigh and close the window.

"Yes." I close the window and open the door. "Why does... oh, hello." Magus walks in like he's already been invited. "Excuse me, just..."

"You may leave now." Magus speaks to the page.

"Yes, sir!" The page closes the door and leaves.

Magus turns to me. "You're hurt." He reaches out to my injured arm. **I forgot to heal up! **I pull back.

"The cat... you shouldn't be here... I am to be wed... please go." I stammer. There is a familiar energy in his touch.

"He never scratched you before... Schala." His deliberate use of the familiar infuriates me. "Is that what the knife was really for?" _The knife! _Did I leave it out? How could I be so forgetful? I clutch my thigh instinctively and immediately feel the empty sheath under the thin silk of my dress. I look at the windowsill were my bare, ivory dagger lays. I immediately cover it with my hand.

"I am Princess Schala, heir to the throne of Zeal, and most powerful mage in the world. I am she who speaks to Lavos, without which the kingdom would fall. I shall let no man speak to me so coarsely." I stand tall, mimicking Mother's fierce pride in my voice. I feel as if he can see how scared I really am, but I am too afraid to let the facade fall.

"Not even her own brother?" My little Janus? And this cold-blooded man? _Impossible._

"You lie. Prince Janus has no magic."

"Prince Janus hid his magic under the instruction of his beloved elder sister. When Prince Janus is pulled out of Zeal, there is no need for him to hide his magic. He then spends all his time trying to find a way to destroy the Lavos who brought his sister into eternal suffering as its unwilling slave. When Janus summoned Lavos to slay him for its deeds, he lost and was brought back to Zeal, where he seeks a way to defeat Lavos before it takes his sister. That is why I am here, helping Mother. We can't stop her. It's too late to stop Lavos from arising. All we can do is raise it up before it is ready and slay it." I stare at Magus. _It can't be. It can't be. Janus **will** grow up strong, brave, and kind and will slay Mother and rule Zeal with wisdom and love. _"You don't believe me." He turns away, and looks at me over his shoulder. "The knife is engraved with the rune for freedom." I look down at my hands. He could have looked when I was cutting myself. It proves nothing. "You said if anyone ever tried to hurt me, you'd run it through them and blast them so hard they'd kiss the moon."

"Anyone could have told you that." Magus is lying. He has to be. Janus is such a sweet little boy. He _could not _come to be so full of hatred.

"Tomorrow, at your wedding, the groom will be attacked by a cat during the vows. Believe me then." He walks over to the door and turns around, hand on the knob. "It's been a long and difficult road... Sis."

"You lie." My voice wavers and tears well in my eyes. "Liar"

"I am willing to die for you this time around." He opens the door the glides away, his feet never touching the ground. _Janus... Magus? **Impossible. **_Yet why am so uncertain?

~*~*~*~

My attendants bustle around me. _Magus... Janus... Magus Janus Magus-Janus MagusJanus Magnus Jagus_ faster and faster, their names blurring in my mind. I reach for my dagger, but it is not there. I close my hand around my pendant and cling to it for safety.

"Close your eyes, highness." I close my eyes and the attendant brushes something over my eyelids. I open my eyes and watch them swirl around me. They fasten on earrings and brush my hair, styling it into an elaborate array of braids and curls and heavily scented white flowers. They drape me in white silk and lace, and ornament me with pearls and diamonds and gems of places unknown. In the center of the fury, I despair. From this day on, I shall be the wife of Dalton. I must listen to him and if he wishes to bed me, I can't refuse. I will be his slave. Tears come out my eyes, spoiling the make-up they were so careful with.

"Oh, look what you've done." I cry even more, closing my eyes.

"Now, calm down, Agnes. This is the greatest day of her life. The bride always cries. Now, dear," she says, wiping my tears, "Wait 'till the ceremony, then cry all you want."

Greatest day of my life? This is worst day my life. I don't want to marry Dalton. I hate him. But I must, for Janus, to protect him. We can always kill Dalton later. My lip curl back as envision Dalton burning from a spell cast by brother.

**He will die _screaming._**

"That's it, smile. Everyone loves a beaming bride." I continue to smile, slaying my husband-to-be a thousand gruesome ways. When Janus is king, I will have my petty revenge. Until then, I must survive best I can and stay hidden, for his sake.

"All set." The kindly attendants smile at me. I look straight ahead as they guide me to the place of the wedding. We stand at the edge of the floating island, in an open field full of flowers.

All the kingdom is here, or so it seems. Everyone turns to stare as I am led up the aisle by Gaspar and Melchior. I will not let myself think about what is going to happen. I force a smile, but my tears are real. Through twin veils of tears and gossamer, I can see Dalton leering at me. Please let this be over soon.

I stand by the altar, tuning out Belthasar as he drones on about the sanctity of our vows. I feel dizzy, like a bee is flying around inside my head. "Do you, Schala, take Dalton as your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts you?" I look up at Belthasar. The words freeze on my tongue_. Oh, how easy it would be to say no!_ **No No No No No No No! **It rolls around in my head, squishing the bee.

"I... I..." No words can express how I feel inside. "I... do."

"You may now kiss the bride." Dalton lifts the veil over my head and his leering face gets closer and closer. I smell his breath. It reeks.

**"MRROOOOEEEEW!" **Janus's wonderful little cat chooses this exact moment to leap out of his arms and claw Dalton in the face. I leap back in shock. Janus runs up to Dalton and tries to pry Alfador off Dalton's face. I turn to Gaspar and he gives me a gentle smile. Mother is furious. She storms on up to the altar and proceeds to holler at everyone. I manage to somehow suppress the urge to giggle.

Janus succeeds in prying the fluffball off Dalton's face. I cast a cure spell on him, then turn to the crowd and see the prophet's eyes glimmering.

Everyone takes their places once more and Belthasar picks up where he left off. "You may NOW kiss the bride." I go limp, letting myself be acted upon rather acting myself. I taste blood. His? Mine? He tastes horrible. I hate him so. I am dragged back down the aisle. _No No No No No no_ and the people all cheer.

~*~*~*~

We are escorted to Dalton's quarters and the manservant leaves, telling us with a wink that he knows what is to be done in this room. I clutch my sunstone pendant and retreat to the back of my mind as Dalton pushes me under.

~*~*~*~

After he is done with me, I dress and leave. Safe in my own quarters, I lock the door and take a bath. I try and wash his filth off me, but it remains. I shall never be clean again. He has befouled me, stripped me of my purity, and now I can never have it back. Once more I cry. Once more I am helpless.

~*~*~*~

**_I am so sorry, Janus. I'm so sorry. Please, try to understand. Please, don't cry._**


	3. Desperate Flight

Author's notes: Get Kleenex. I command you to get Kleenex.

P.S. Magus, I found out, tranlasts literally as "magic." Creative name for your mage-class character, ne?

"I don't think you 

Trust

In my

Self-righteous suicide.

I cry

When angels deserve to 

****

DIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

-System of a Down, "Chop Suey"

~*~*~*~

Dressed in black, alone, I sneak out of the palace. I don't want Janus to see me. I take the Skyway down to the ground and I run through the blizzard swift as a deer. I kneel, pulling out the knife, and slice both wrists open.

The snow melts from my warm blood. Hot tears spring from my eyes and freeze on my face. My nose runs, forming a layer of snot- ice above my lips. I wipe it away, leaving a bloody trail on my face. I feel a mind near mine, one that merely sits and thinks, rather than reaching out and grabbing things. The darkness envelops me, and I collapse. The last thing I hear is, "Are you okay?"

~*~*~*~

I open my eyes. I am... alive? No. This cannot be. I am dead. I have to be dead; I want to be dead. Dead dead **_dead. _**I inhale a lungful of unclean, slightly stale, but nonetheless welcome air. I open my eyes. The entire room is brown and gritty in the oily lamplight. A curtain moves across the far wall. A child walks in, bearing a tray with some sort of soup on it. I inhale the scent and my stomach rumbles. I moan, then try to talk, but no words come out. I attempt to sit up, but as soon as raise my head off the pillow it falls down again. I feel as if the bones were plucked right out of my body, leaving me a useless, fleshy blob. The child turns around, miraculously not spilling the soup.

**_"MOMMY! THE ENLIGHTENED ONE'S NOT MOVING! I THINK IT'S DEAD! WHAT DO I DO NOW?" _**I wince. The child's boisterous shouts are very different from Janus's sullen mumbles. The child's mother comes in, throwing back the curtain to reveal half-dozen grimy children and a man fixing a crossbow around a small fire.

I attempt to greet her, but it comes out a wheeze. "Shh, don't try to talk. You've lost a lot of blood. I'm Shana, my husband Biron found you, and the yeller is Tess. You may meet everyone else later." She places one hand low on my back and the other behind my head and lifts me into a sitting position. I fall sideways, and she catches me and leans me against the dirt wall. "Te-ess. Our guest wants the soup."

Shana spoons the soup into my mouth as she chats up a storm. "When Koles, the eldest one, on the far right, found you there was quite an argument between him and his father. Koles wanted to save you and return you for a ransom, and my husband wanted to leave you. Guess who won?" I can feel my mind grow clearer. I pick up the surface of her mind. She is warm and caring and concerned. I drink of it, and feel better. "When they brought you home with their harebrained scheme, I wouldn't hear of it. We'd have the entire kingdom down our throats. So, soon as you're better, you're off." She looks at me. "All better?" I nod.

"Schala." I tell her my name. Lifting my hands up, I see the black thread they used to sew up my wounds. I focus, sewing them up with my mind. I reach under my pants and pull out my dagger to cut off my stitches. Shana gasps as I pull the thread out of unharmed flesh. "I was trying to kill myself. I am sorry if I have troubled you. I'll go now." I stand up and immediately fall on my face.

"Even magic-users must rest, my lady." She helps me lay back on the straw mattress. I close my eyes and slip into the most restful sleep I have had in years.

~*~*~*~

"My lady, a man is here to see you." I sit up and rub my forehead to rid myself of this headache. Perhaps I tried too hard last night.

"Ungh, I'm not here." I lay back down.

"He appears very dangerous, my lady." _Dalton? **No.**_

"Stall. I'll escape. I am not going back. I'll need different clothes." I change into the smelly, ragged garments she holds out to me. I pull out my dagger and creep to the door, ignoring my body's protests.

I look to both sides and dart out, listening with my mind for the presence of an Enlighten One. To the left! I turn right, speeding myself up with a spell. I hid behind a fossilized tree root and catch my breath. The Enlightened One is close. I peer around and see the prophet. **_Oh, no! He'll know where I am headed! _**I run full speed as far away from him as possible. I turn right, then left, then sort of slanted left, heading down. He would expect me to go up, but I will go down and lose him.

I pay such close attention to the prophet's inaccessible mind I forget to watch where I am headed. I turn down a dead end. All that is down this corridor is someone's home. I run into it, ducking behind the curtain that divides it into rooms.

"Just what do you..." the owner protests.

"I am hiding from an Enlighten One." Among the Earthbound, the Enlighten Ones are considered oppressors and the enemy. Aid is given, no questions asked. The man's wife and their teenaged daughter nod. They pull the curtain around me and the girl pulls out a knife from under her bed and hides it under her dress.

Magus stands outside. His mind crushes mine. **No way is he _my_ baby brother. **"I am looking for a young woman, about twenty years old."

"We have but one daughter, and she is of fourteen," the man explains.

"The woman I look for is my sister. She has disguised herself as one of you, and wears a glowing pendant." I reach up and touch my pendant. Did they see? _Oh, what a fool I am. _"She carries a dagger made of ivory and is barefoot." They all shake their heads and block the doorway. A spider crawls up my back. "She ran into your house and said, "I am hiding from an Enlightened One." You then hid her behind this curtain." The curtain is pulled back, revealing my huddled form.

"Stay back!" I hold the dagger in front of me. I leap forward to drive the knife into him, and he knocks me back with a bolt of lightning. I drop my dagger and grab my heart. I will it to beat steadily. I force my charred flesh to become smooth and white once more. Magus holds his hand out.

"Don't make me hurt you, Schala," he says gently. I freeze as his hand brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He takes both my hands between his. "Together, we will win. You will be free. Let me help you, just once, Sis. I owe you so much."

**_"Liar," _**I hiss. The girl with the knife charges, and Magus stops her in mid-air. She falls to floor and does not move.

"Sis, if you continue on your path, Lavos will consume you. And then you shall destroy the world." His eyes blaze truth. My hands loosen their grip on the dagger. One reaches towards his hood. I rip it off; revealing a face lined with pain. I look into his ruby eyes, and I look carefully and the mud clears and I see the odd combination of kindness and cruelty I have seen in my little brother.

"NO!" I bring my knife across his chest. Something inside me prevented my hand from driving it downward into his heart.

_"Shhh..." _and the world turns black.

~*~*~*~

I don't know anything anymore. I'm okay. I don't know anything. I'm dead it doesn't matter. _"Schala, you up?"_ Something's sitting on me. "Did Magus hurt you? If he hurt you I'll kill him! I'll make his head explode! I'll... I'll... turn him into a frog! And then I'll make Alfador eat him." _Ooowwwwww...._

"Janus?" Am I back at the palace? Are you okay? How did I get here? I open my eyes. The same oily, dim lamplight as before. "Janus? How did you get here?" I don't try to sit up. The lump on my lap shifts and digs its claws into me. I winch. Janus picks up his cat.

"Me and Alfador followed you. Then we hid. It smells in here. Everyone's asleep now, so I came out. I don't trust the prophet. Do you?" _I was so certain... now I... everything's different._

"I... don't know." I felt him... but... it can't be... No. I will not accept it.

"Did he hurt you? When you ran out I couldn't follow you 'cause I would get caught, but I saw them carry you back in."

"Them who?"

"Magus and Shana." Janus lies down next to me. "Why did you hurt yourself?" _No, Janus, please don't anything Mother Dalton Magus anyone anything just not that._ "I saw you, with the knife. You cut your wrists and I screamed and screamed and someone came and I hid. You were smiling. Why were you smiling?" Tears run down his cheeks. "I was scared. They thought you were dying. Why didn't you heal yourself? Why did you run away? Did he hurt you? Are you scared? Is it Magus"?

"My heart hurts." I sit up and hold him in my lap.

"Why?" I hug him and cry. _I'll never leave you again._

****

Why?

Even now, I don't know why it matters, dead or alive, anymore. Janus will better off without me to take care of. I'm scared, not brave. So scared. "It's okay. I'm okay." _I'm not okay. _I haven't been, ever. "Don't worry, everything is okay." Everyone's dead. Everyone and I killed them... "Shh." _Janus... _

"It's not okay! Stop lying to me! Why do you hurt yourself?" Janus pulls away from me and stands up at his full height, looking up at me. "Why do you want to die?"

"Janus... Why do you think I want to die? I don't, and if anyone ever says..."

"Don't lie to me! Why?" He cries again, and hugs himself. "Why do you want to leave me?"

"Janus, I don't want to leave you. I love you." I don't want to leave him, but _I want to die, I want to die so much..._

"Then why?" He stamps his foot. "Why?"

"It... hurts," I sob. I hide my face in my hands, my cheeks flaming in shame. **_Pride,_** what do I have to be proud of? I reek of their corruption; I am as guilty as they are.

"Did Dalton hurt you?" Yes. I hug myself as I re-live recent events, watching as Dalton kisses me, watching as he rips my dress off, watch as I cry and try to hide, then I go limp in his arms and let him, and I cry and it hurts he's crushing me.... "Schala?"

"Dalton... hurts me a lot."

"Then why'd you marry him?"

"Because... I would be hurt worse if I didn't." _It would hurt more than anything to lose you._

"Why don't we kill him?" Janus? Don't talk like that it scares me.

"Because then Mother will kill us."

"Don't we have to fight Mother, though? Isn't that what you're training me for?" **_Never. _**I'll fight, and die. I couldn't bear to have you hurt.

"Not yet," I lie. I will go back home, get the gurus, and fight Mother that way. "Someone's coming. Hide." Janus scrambles under the bed.

_"Alfador!"_ He hisses. The cat crawls under with him.

"Schala, tell your brother to leave us alone." Magus walks in. I move my legs to cover my brother's shadow. He sneezes.

"AAH-AH-AAAH-CHOO!" Alfador streaks out from under there and Janus crawls out, miserable and dusty. "AAH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!" I step between him and Magus. I reach for my knife.

"Looking for this, Schala?" He holds up my dagger. "Let him go. I want to talk to you."

"Leave my sister alone!" Janus shouts and clenches his fists. "Or else!" His eyes glow red.

_"JANUS! NO!" _He ignores me and lightning flashes all around.

"You think that does you any good?" Magus says, calmly keeping it back with a spell of darkness. "Take this!" The darkness grows stronger. Janus closes his eyes and holds it back with the lightning barrier. He clenches his fists tighter, to where his arms shake. He's tired.

"JANUS! Stop, please!" He doesn't stop, and holds his ground. I look at the prophet. He holds his scythe tightly, and I can hear them both breathing hard.

_"You... can't... defeat... me EVER!" _Magus hisses. More than half the room is cloaked in the night sky. The lighting regains it ground, Janus whimpering a little. _"I will... win.... eventually." _A lone bolt of lightning streaks through the barrier and hits the false prophet in his heart. A dark fist strikes down Janus, and they both lie still.

I kneel at my little brother's side, calling upon the gods of light to heal him. He opens his eyes and hugs me, crying. I keep my eyes dry. "We have to leave now." I grab my old cape, and throw it over my Earthbound rags. He nods, and follows me out, picking up Alfador. Shana and the others do not wake up. We head up, and out into the snow. I carry Janus, and pray, though it has been a long time since they listened.

~*~*~*~

"Janus? Wake up. You have to walk." My back is on fire. I set him down and shake his shoulders. We're under a copse of pine trees, out of sight of anyone, be they Earthbound Ones, evil prophets, or searchers. My brother's eyelashes flicker, and he mumbles for me to let him sleep. Alfador wiggles out of his arms and hides under my cape. "Come on, wake up before he finds us."

"I don't wanna," he murmurs and closes his eyes again. "You're tired."

"We can't rest now. Magus will find us."

"I think I killed him," my brother states matter-of-factly. _How can he be so calm if he **murdered** someone?_ "Don't worry, I don't think we'll get caught."

I bolt upright and drag him to his feet in my fury. "That's not the point! Killing is wrong! _We_," I point to him and myself "Don't kill. _They _do. We're better than that. We'll only kill someone if we have to." Janus pulls away and crosses his arms.

"We had to." _How can he stand there so calmly and say that?_

"No, we didn't. If you had left like he told you, none of this would have happened!"

"I didn't like the way he looked at you."

"Janus..." I throw myself down under a tree and cry. "I can take care of myself. I... It would hurt me, here," I hold my hand over my heart, "If I lost you."

"I can take care of myself, too. And protect you." He crosses his arms. "Why don't you let me help? Why do you have to protect me all the time?" His cat rubs up against his ankles. He picks it up. "Why do you want to hurt all the time?" _I don't I never wanted this I don't want anyone to go through this **no one deserves this.**_

I curl up and sob myself to sleep.

~*~*~*~

_So cold... _I sit bolt upright, cursing myself for falling asleep like that. Janus stirs from having his pillow taken away and returns to sleep. They shine down on both of us with their pale, cold light. The moon is a mere sliver in the sky. It will be easier to travel under the cover of night.

I don't want to wake Janus, though. He looks so peaceful, sleeping there. His eyelashes fluttering, knocking a thin dusting of snow onto his cheeks. He hugs Alfador tighter and pops his thumb into his mouth. He looks so cold. I lay my cloak over him as a blanket and brush a strand of hair out of face.

"Schala." **NO.** "Don't run." A hand tightens itself on my shoulder, keeping me from fleeing. "Please, Schala. Don't make me lose you again. You have to trust me." no. "Why don't you believe me? You always trusted me before."

"Don't act like you know me. Don't pretend you're my brother. I am no such fool," I tell Magus coldly. Why is he so persistent in his lie? Does it bring him pleasure to cause me such pain?

"Only a fool refuses to believe what is right under her nose." He spins me around to face him. "Schala, why do you have to be so self-sacrificing? It hurts me to watch you die like this." His eyes shine in the moonlight with a wet light. _Tears?_

I raise my hands to his face and he jerks away. "Don't touch me." He turns away from me. "They're coming for you, Sis. They'll take you away and make you work on the Mammon machine. They're almost upon us. You have to trust me." I listen to my heart and it says _Yes._ He holds out his hand and I take it. He pulls me close. I have nothing left to lose. "Sis, This is what we do..." Ma... Janus outlines his plan.


	4. Fighting Back At Last

Author's notes: I am also now working on one for Magus. Chapter 1 is nowhere near completion. Gomen ne sa! It will be called "False Prophet" and, well, yeah. I'll be working on it. GAH! No more new fics, you mean Muse! Anyways... Thank, you my one anonymous reviewer. :P This chapter is dedicated to you.

"I don't think you 

Trust

In my

Self-righteous suicide.

I cry

When angels deserve to 

****

DIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

-System of a Down, "Chop Suey"

~*~*~*~

When we get back, I construct some cock-eyed story about sleeping potions, subterfuge, and kidnapping. Mother goes crazy and just about pulls up the rugs looking for the perpetrator. She eventually finds two people to execute, and Magus and I have to let her do a she will so she will not grow suspicious. I suppose he is right, but all that is within me begs to differ. I think my heart lies too often.

~*~*~*~

"Did we have to do that to the gurus?" I ask Magus. He wishes me to call him that for simplicity's sake. 

He turns away from the window. "Do you think they would believe me?"

"I know, but still..." I shiver at the thought of what the gurus must be going through.

"Would you rather have to kill them? This is the _only_ way. I've been planning this my whole life. It _has _to be this way." He speaks with the same, stubborn, it-has-to-be-MY-way little brother tone. **_"I've waited far too long to let it slip away now!" _**His eyes glow red and he bares his fangs. I find it disconcerting how he goes from being so familiar, from being **MY** Janus to being someone, no _something _entirely alien. Disconcerting, and more than a little terrifying that my sweet little baby brother has such darkness within. I should have noticed it before; it is not far below the surface. I cannot turn a blind eye to it any longer. Janus is **_not _**a sweet little boy. He is a dark, violent, moody, and cruel child. The only warmth within him is for me. The rest of the world is unimportant to him, to the little boy and the man both.

"What you thinking about, Schala?" Magus asks.

I lie to him, the first I ever have. "Those three of whom you speak, who are they, exactly? How do you know they will come?"

Magus returns to the window, staring out into the night. "They were caught by the time-wind of Lavos and carried to the end of the world. They seek to defeat Lavos and keep it from happening. They posses a device that allows to ride the time-wind."

"But who are they? What are they like? And if they seek to stop Lavos, why can they not join our side? And also..."

Magus tosses his cape back. "Paying me back for bugging you?" He rests his head against the glass. "They are not much younger than we are. One is a young man of few words. He is their leader. Another has a mind that would make the gurus envious. Another is your descendent. She's... stubborn. Very stubborn. The forth I... turned into a frog, and the fifth is nothing but an impressive plaything. If they see what we are doing, they will not understand, and will try to stop us."

I come up next to him. "Perhaps if you or I explained it to them..."

"They will trust nothing that I do. I almost killed them when I summoned Lavos." I feel safe with Magus near. He is older than I am, more powerful than I am, and he loves me. He'll do anything to protect me. I lay my head against his arm. "Someone's coming..." I freeze. It would not look good for Magus to be seen in a married woman's quarters, alone, at night. He mumbles a few words and disappears.

I open the door. It's Janus. "What are you doing up?" I kneel down to look him in the eye.

He wipes his nose on his sleeve and sniffles, tears in his eyes. "I had a nightmare. Can I stay here tonight?" He hugs a tired Alfador close. I sit down at the edge of the bed and he crawls into my lap.

"Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?" Janus sniffles and nods.

"I dreamed you were fighting Magus and then a giant black bird swoops out of the sky and carries you away. I scream and scream and Magus turns to dust when the sun rises and a dragon appears and takes me to a castle on the ground. I go inside and you're in the corner crying. I run to you as fast as I can but you keep getting farther and farther away until I can't see you anymore." I hug him, sandwiching his poor cat between us. It howls leaps up, and cowers under the bed.

"Is that all?" Janus shakes his head and continues.

"I sit down and cry and a man with red hair and funny clothes walks in with a frog carrying a sword, a funny looking lady, a lady who looks like you, a lady dressed in animal skins, and giant metal man." _Children have such vivid imaginations. _"Schala, you're not paying attention." I come back to reality and he continues. "They walk in and behind them is a cage that you're in. They lock it. The metal man cuts off a piece of your hair and the funny-looking lady lays a dress on the ground. The red-haired man sets the dress on fire and your hair on fire and then there's another you standing there, holding a dagger. The people melt into a puddle, and boy steps out of it with blue hair, holding a crystal. The girl with dagger grabs the boy's hand and cuts it. He rubs the blood on your face and then they stand on both sides and you all disappear in big ray of light. I close my eyes. When I open them, you're lying on this browny, warm snow. I go up to you and you're dead." He sobs and shoves his face into my chest. **Still a child after all. **"Murderers," he snarls. I lift up his face and kiss his forehead. He wraps his arms around my neck, whispering, "Don't go Schala. Don't go."

__

Don't go Janus, don't go. Don't ever leave me.

~*~*~*~

Today I killed two innocent men. I wished I had spoken out, turned myself in, something to save those poor men's lives. Why did it have to be anyone? They were not good men; they were both notorious thieves, Enlighten Ones, but criminals nonetheless, just released from prison and probably planning some crime spree, but they had done nothing yet and now they are dead. Because of me. All because of me.

~*~*~*~

"Are you happy, Schala?" Magus's question catches me off guard and I lay down my book. I've just come from Dalton and I'm on edge. "Don't worry, Sis. I'll take of Dalton, once we're done with Lavos."

"I want to kill him myself." I stare straight ahead, keeping my mind empty. He is so rough with me. My body is covered with bruises from my one week of marriage.

Magus lays his hand on my shoulder. "Don't. Don't do that yourself. Let me fight. There is no love lost between myself and the world." He sits on the windowsill beside me and takes my hands into his. "When this over, you will be happy. I promise."

"Happy..." I whisper, feeling the strange word on my tongue. _Happy. **Yes.** _We shall fight and we shall have happiness after two decades of pain. We deserve it. "I will be... happy." I close my eyes, stretching the moment out as long as I can. "Tell me again what happens when we fight Lavos." I have heard this story a million times. I could hear it million more and still not tire of it.

"After Lavos dies and I am pulled through time, there shall be wondrous funeral for Prince Janus. The new Queen Schala will name the prophet Magus chancellor, and she will guide the people to a new era. She will rule her kingdom with wisdom, love, and justice and bring the Earthbound and Enlighten Ones together as one people."

"The People."

"Yes. She will rule for fifty-nine glorious years..."

"After which point the throne will go to Marlene."

"Marlene?"

"The daughter I'm going to have."

"What if you have a son?"

"We're dreaming. It's a girl."

"Who shall you wed?" My head rubs against the glass and I tell my brother of the childish dream that I had once, back when I thought I would live. Back when I was still whole.

"There will come from the people a man of unusual wisdom and kindness named Solomon. He will have... raven hair and eyes the color of emeralds. There will be scandal, of course, because he will not be of royal blood. We will meet secretly, by moonlight. He will propose to me before the entire kingdom. Everyone will gasp and go silent. I will say yes, loudly, for all to hear. A few ladies will faint and countless mouths shall hang open. There will be a wedding. All will come and you shall give me away at the altar. We shall have five children."

"Five?"

"Yes. There will be Marlene, the eldest. A little quiet and shy, but full of inner strength and resolve. Then there are the twins, Tess and Teran. They're holy terrors. Next is Alexander, who will become guru of wisdom after Belthasar passes away. And then there will be Gareth. He will be younger than Alexander by ten years. He will be closest to me, a quiet, sensitive soul, more poet than fighter. He will become the greatest man the world has ever seen."

"And what of your brother?"

"You tell me. Who shall you wed?" I open my eyes and look at Magus. His eyes are still closed.

"I do not know."

I giggle. "It would be a shame for a prince of the realm to go unwed." My brother looks at me oddly. "What is it?"

"You're smiling. I only remember you smiling once." _When I tried to... _"Don't cry. It will be alright." _I always thought I'd die when we fought Mother. I'd never thought... _"I promise." _I would live to see him grow up, I never thought I would live this long. I should have been dead a long time ago. _"Schala, I'll hurt him for you. For every bruise..." _I don't know what to with tomorrow. I thought there would be... _"He gets a stab." _More light with the future but all I see is shadow. My brother's shadow. _"Schala, I'm not perfect. I'm not the person you carried around in your head for so long, the person that..." _Why did you have to make him this soulless beast?_ "Gave you hope. He was never meant to be. I am what you see. I always have been." _What happened to you? _"Open your eyes. I have been, always will be..." _My little baby. _"Magus." He holds my holds me close and I cry on him, like he has often cried on me.

"Princess Schala, I have... oh my!" My serving-maid drops the tray she is carrying. Magus releases me too late. "I saw nothing. Please, please let me live," she begs as he grabs his scythe and walks towards her. He lifts her head with the blade.

"Go." She gathers the tray and leaves, as if sleepwalking. "Forget." She turns to face me with a puzzled expression on her face. "Take me out of here." He disappears.

~*~*~*~

"How old are you, exactly?" We no longer meet in my chambers. It is too dangerous. I lay on my back, panting from exhaustion. Fighting Lavos will be much more difficult. I must prepare myself. I stare up as the stars come out. They don't twinkle much, this far above the ground. I sit up and look at my brother. He looks through me. "Janus?"

"Hm?"

"How long were you there, in that world?"

"Far too long. Does it matter?"

"I suppose not..." We sit silent, each with our own thoughts. I feel sorry for the children Magus says will come to stop us. "Must we slay them? It seems so... inhumane."

"I know. I have no wish to kill them, either. There are so few good people amongst the cretins, but we don't have a choice." He turns away in frustration. "Unless you have a better idea?" I shake my head and stare back up at the stars. There is no moon tonight, so I can see them well. They are so cold and far away. Poets speak of the wonder of the universe, but I do not see it. They are powerful. Their light reaches out to us from across trillions of miles and many years to give us a cold speck in the sky, yet they do nothing for us. They can. I can hear them talking. They just don't, so I have to... "Does anything care about us? Do you think this part of some greater plan and everything will be okay?"

"There's nothing out there except dead matter. Nothing cares. We're on our own." _Sad..._ "I don't like the idea of anything controlling me, using me." _I don't care I just want to be... _"Even if there's something up there, it would hate us. We're nothing; nothing but glorified beasts." _I'm not. Don't say that... _"We deserve it." _I'm sorry._

~*~*~*~

I hum to myself, quietly so as not to be heard, as I head back to my room. I am happy. I would dance if I knew how. I fling open the and throw myself backwards against the bed, a smile on my face.

A shadow moves across my window. "Magus?" I am grabbed roughly from behind and a hand covers my mouth.

"Shh, Princess. Isn't this what you want?" Dalton presses me down into the bed. He wants... I don't need to read to read his mind to know what he wants. I feel it pressing against me. _Not now, no, please, not now. _"Are you too good me, slut? Don't give me any of your false modesty." He spins me around to face him and unbuttons my dress. "You're no different than any of the others. You pretend to be pure, all you, but you're all spread-legged whores." He pulls my dress roughly off and runs his hands down my body. **The dagger! He's going to find the dagger!**

His hands reach my thighs and brush along the knife-sheath. "So, you plan to kill me, Princess?" I freeze, not even daring to breathe anymore. He pulls the dagger out of the sheath and grabs me, holding my dagger against my throat. "What should I do with you, Schala?" Blood trickles down my neck. Suddenly I am calm. I realize that I _don't _care what happens to me. He can't hurt me, but I... I can hurt him. I rip my mind into him and he screams little a scared child and drops the dagger and throws himself against the wall.

I stand up straight, naked, unafraid, in control, in absolute control. "If you touch me ever again, I will kill you." I pick up the dagger and hold it straight out at him. "Now get out." He doesn't move. "Now." I think I be shouting, now, screaming for him to get out, get out, get out and he does. He runs away from me like a scared little girl. I think he thinks I'm crazy. I don't know; I think I might be too. But if being crazy means I don't have to let them hurt me, then I _want _to be crazy.

I sink to my knees and weep in joy, because I no longer have to bear the burden of sanity.


End file.
